I witnessed a death earlier today. It was a woman. A mother in her forties or maybe early fifties, she wasn’t sick or in any other state, she had started the day with no inclination that something fatal was coming her way. She was just a victim of an overlooked circumstance.
How did she die? There is no nice way to put it. She was stoned to death. Literarily! A fence which had been weak finally gave way and unfortunately she was the unsuspecting victim behind it.
As I watched people amidst the wailing and chaos try to pull her blood bathed lifeless body out from the heap of concrete over her, I couldn’t help but harbour thoughts of accusation.
Everyone knew the fence was weak. It had been that way for years and the owner never bothered to fix it. Nobody knew when it would fall or in what direction, so everyone was careful (not all the time) around it, but nobody did anything about it! We all knew it would fall one day, but no one suspected the fall would happen this way. No one thought carelessness towards the feeble wall would cost a life.
But it was just a wall! A wall which was already weak by the way. How bad could the impact have been?
The wall was weak but only at the bottom. The blocks at the top were strong enough to knock someone out cold. To support the stronger more visible parts of the wall, the weak bottom needed repairs or at least a support structure.
It’s the same as our bodies. We may look and seem healthy in our top priority parts- brain, kidneys, stomach and all, but what about our emotional health. Most times we overlook the state of our psychological health that holds the rest of the body firmly up.
The mental health of anyone particularly the new mum is important too, you know. But just like the weak base of the wall it can be overlooked and ignored until ‘that someday’ all other vital parts come crashing down.
Postpartum depression is not a situation to be overlooked, it’s a health crisis!
To which category do you belong?
1. “It’s just the baby blues, I’ll get over it. Nobody wants to hear me cry about being unable to sleep. They’ll think I’m crazy to say I don’t feel like touching my baby. I’ll just pretend it’s not happening and maybe it’ll all go away”.
Are you that mother waving off the severity of your emotional health?
2. “Get yourself together woman! You are being silly and that’s the least of my concerns right now.”
Are you that spouse or relative who has no time for mama drama?
3. “She’s like a time bomb right now, just be careful what you say around her and try not to get into her business. We have enough problems of our own”
Or are you that friend tiptoeing around the walls of her emotions, unwilling to lend a shoulder?
Whatever your category, a wall is about to fall and there’s not only an undeserving baby behind it, you are behind it too!
Like the base of that wall, a woman who is suffering psychologically (from a perinatal mood disorder) needs to have a support structure around her and such a support structure is really not that hard to find.
If you are an expecting or new mum (you fall in this class even if your third baby just turned two!!!!), or if you are family or a close friend, you can be instrumental in getting help or becoming the support needed.
How do you know a mum needs help ASAP? Check for symptoms such as:
• Loss of interest or pleasure in life
• Loss of energy and motivation to do things
• Sleeping too much or too little
• Feeling like life isn’t worth living
• Irritability, anxiety, or restlessness
• Feeling worthless and guilty
• Withdrawal from friends and family
• Eating too much or too little
• Having trouble remembering, focusing, or making decisions
• Crying a lot
• Having thoughts of hurting self
• Thinking about hurting the baby
If you've noticed any of these symptoms present it shouldn’t be overlooked, find a health care provider to talk to before it gets out of hand. Like they say- A stitch in time saves nine. You could be that stitch that saves lives!!
